It is just so surprising how life could punch you hard in the middle of your good time.
One of my weaknesses is how emotionally stable I am. Many others would say that this should be taken as strength. Probably, yes, to many situations when I got easily inflated with disgust but decided to control it, when I was about to explode in a heated argument but chose to shut my explosion down and when I was about to enunciate bitter thoughts but chose to be quiet instead. Among the many times that I did it, I realized at some point I was poisoning myself.
While growing up I was thought to obey at all times, to respect people at all times, to regard the differences of people at all times, to be patient at all times, to be forbearing at all times, to be considerate at all times, to be self-giving at all times, to be fair at all times, to be compassionate, to be kind, to be open-minded. Name them all! There the list goes on and on. AT ALL TIMES – to the very extent of as much as I can do. Don’t get me wrong; I never ever regretted doing such.
However, today’s disappointment over a certain person was just overwhelming that I activated my emotional stability level and chose to sleep to give myself a timeout. I chose to shell myself and disappear in that very situation. As I was so disappointed, I kept motivating myself not to burst out by repeating a single line of a particular song in my head. There I go again, my usual escape from the bitter real-time reality.
But no, sleeping it away doesn’t make it feel right because I was nurturing for many instances but I know that I did the right thing in that situation. I am still troubled. My heart is yet to be healed. I was angry. That feeling of being taken advantage of was creeping inside of me and I don’t like the feeling. I know there and then that if I would not put an end to this thought, this will bring forth many more bitter thoughts. There and then message from a Voice came to me saying “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on the cause of your anger. Do not give the devil an opportunity”.
There I got my answer.
I believe that emotions are gifts from above. My being an emotionally stable person is also a gift that I learned through time and still mastering it. Emotions are there to be recognized, to be felt and to be understood. I know for sure that there would be more and more challenges that will eventually put my stability to test. By then I’ll gear up myself, sip a cup of coffee and battle it off with a class. 🙂 🙂
Have you ever been so beset by an intense emotion? How did you cope with that? Did you drink coffee, too, just like what I did? 🙂