Coffee Diaries: Taking a Timeout

It is just so surprising how life could punch you hard in the middle of your good time.

One of my weaknesses is how emotionally stable I am. Many others would say that this should be taken as strength. Probably, yes, to many situations when I got easily inflated with disgust but decided to control it, when I was about to explode in a heated argument but chose to shut my explosion down and when I was about to enunciate bitter thoughts but chose to be quiet instead. Among the many times that I did it, I realized at some point I was poisoning myself.

While growing up I was thought to obey at all times, to respect people at all times, to regard the differences of people at all times, to be patient at all times, to be forbearing at all times, to be considerate at all times, to be self-giving at all times, to be fair at all times, to be compassionate, to be kind, to be open-minded. Name them all! There the list goes on and on. AT ALL TIMES – to the very extent of as much as I can do. Don’t get me wrong; I never ever regretted doing such.

However, today’s disappointment over a certain person was just overwhelming that I activated my emotional stability level and chose to sleep to give myself a timeout. I chose to shell myself and disappear in that very situation. As I was so disappointed, I kept motivating myself not to burst out by repeating a single line of a particular song in my head. There I go again, my usual escape from the bitter real-time reality.

But no, sleeping it away doesn’t make it feel right because I was nurturing for many instances but I know that I did the right thing in that situation. I am still troubled. My heart is yet to be healed. I was angry. That feeling of being taken advantage of was creeping inside of me and I don’t like the feeling. I know there and then that if I would not put an end to this thought, this will bring forth many more bitter thoughts. There and then message from a Voice came to me saying “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on the cause of your anger. Do not give the devil an opportunity”.

There I got my answer.

I believe that emotions are gifts from above. My being an emotionally stable person is also a gift that I learned through time and still mastering it. Emotions are there to be recognized, to be felt and to be understood. I know for sure that there would be more and more challenges that will eventually put my stability to test. By then I’ll gear up myself, sip a cup of coffee and battle it off with a class. 🙂 🙂

Have you ever been so beset by an intense emotion? How did you cope with that? Did you drink coffee, too, just like what I did? 🙂

 

Cheers,

signature

Advertisements

Back On Track

Yes! Finally, I got the drive to get hold of my pen again and of my own busy self to write. I thank God for this! I always felt the urges to write everything I went through – the new experiences, new opportunities and the new challenges of being in this time of life which they call “quarter life”. However, the demand to do work and even more work (though no one is forcing me to) is just paralyzing me to put all these free-flowing ideas into writing. I am always inspired to write but my so-busy self is always deterred. I was like a train on the track, which at first was eagerly transporting the passengers from point to point and would go to and fro enthusiastically until that day when the oil is not enough or when the machine started to rust and wheels got stuck at a certain point. I had this mindset at the onset of the year that I should be more consistent in writing, that I should be at least publishing one post per week but it didn’t work out that way. I know it’s myself to blame. The more I planned it that way, the more I got distracted. I often wonder how the online writers and bloggers I followed managed to constantly write. Well, it always boils down to these – time management and priority setting. I just thank God for the opportunity today to be able to pen this. I’m that kind of train fully fueled up to the brim and finally ready to get going to and fro. Maybe not one post per week, I’ll just let it flow as time does. I’m just not going to put so much pressure on my love – my love for writing and its purposeful expressions.

Another thing I praise God was His clear love letter that He sent me through a person. It was in a random conversation with this person, who I admire for certain reasons, in which a catchy line from His love letter just popped out her speech and struck me right through the innermost part of my heart. I waited until all parts of this letter came to my senses and then, I responded. I rejoice in this truth He placed in my heart. I knew He called me to share His words and that burden to impact people with the divine truth is deeply engraved in my heart. The love letter opened doors for me to even expand and extend the platform where I could share the good news and where God can use me mightily.

So here I am now, in my quarter life year, putting things in place and allowing God to establish His plans for me. I also took the step of adding a new flavor on my coffee diaries that is much committed to faith. By this, I mean, I will not set aside the first reason why I continued and set up this blog that is to serve as my e-journal but in the next days to come, this blog will serve its purpose to be a vessel of change, courage, inspiration, and faith.

I believe in the power of words, not only when you utter them but also when you let your soul and spirit speak of them through writing that is purposely done in the manner of inflicting courage and faith on the readers. I always desire to inspire, uplift and cause positive changes in the life of people; may it be to the grandest of it or the littlest impact.

So cheers to a more fueled up love for writing!

Coffee Diaries:What paralyzes you today?

No Coffee.

While writing this, I just happened to save myself from being groggy, dazed and stupefied for the final half of the day due to a caffeine deficiency. I made this disorder for myself due to an apparent change of force in my body for not taking a cup of coffee early this morning before I started working. This body of mine just set its own alarm of telling me I need an intake of caffeine or else I would again hear my students telling me “You’re like a zombie, Teacher Jirah”. I don’t want to be a coffee dependent  but the more I tried not to, the more I become one. 😛

Anyway, this is not about being a coffee addict. This is about how a simple thing could paralyze us. How about you? What paralyses you today?

—-

Move forward.

I think this is something that is supposed to be easily said than done. How much more is the phrase KEEP MOVING FORWARD. This is a more prolonged imperative than the former and the word “keep” and the tense of the verb which makes it a lot more demanding in every situation when you wanted to just breakdown.

There are so many causes of paralysis as trees has many roots. One cause is to one person would be my approximation since a single mind can make up its own problem and can make it even more complex. However, as I see it, our own mindset wins the crown of causing all of the day-to-day paralyses.

In natural cases, our physical incapability causes us to be stagnant and lead us to the decay of our dreams, goals and our little wants not being satisfied with our extra courageous efforts. Let me call this as “paralysis in physical nature”- complete or partial loss of function especially when involving the motion or sensation in a part of the body as Merriam-Webster defines it.

Our mindset or mental attitude, how we look and take in things around us and how we interpret them, has a much greater contribution on most of the paralyses that existed, that exist and that will exist. Yes, it is the thing to put the blame on. Meaning, the cause is not due to any external stimulus rather it’s internal. Even if the gravely difficult circumstance is offering probabilities and possibilities, an impaired mindset will never see any of these. It’s focus will always be on the side where there are impossibilities and unreasonableness.

So “blame yourself, not the situation! Nah! I knew the feeling of being betrayed by your own way of thinking. I was once a prisoner of my own negative thoughts and partial judgments of the condition I was in and the people I was with. I give due credit to God who opened my eyes to see what I needed to see, to hear what I need to hear, to understand what I needed to understand and to feel what I needed to feel to be able to be in a pace and a place of paralysis-free; it is where He wants me to linger on. It always a process. We learn through time and experiences.

A right perspective on things is a by-product of a healthy mind, a right attitude and a perfect faith on the One who authors everything that happened, that happens and that will happen.

So, shall we have another cup of coffee?

signature

Coffee Diaries: Kick off Week of 2017

How’s the first week of your 2017?
I would say I spent it well.
No overspending.
No oversleeping.
With overeating. Lol (It’s normal for the first week of the year; though I barely know why my weight is fixed in 46.7 kg every time I would step on the scaling platform.)
I dedicated most of those times to my family and friends here in Bangkok and virtually with my immediate family in the Philippines. We went out, shopped (most was window-shopping :P), cooked, ate homemade meals, watched episodic series, rendered service to the church, went bicycling in a known park and threw the mess of 2016 out of our rooms.
I really loved the latter. As a person who has obsessive-compulsive disorder (medically unconfirmed but actions proven lol), I would love to have a fresh environment as this year starts – neatly kept bed adorned with newly changed cover pillows and cottony soft blankets. I love to throw myself into it!
FRESH START! 
How to have it? Most of the messages I heard this week were about it. So here’s what I learned and hopefully I’ll put these into action this year.
First, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead”. Some of us are still bondage of our pasts – broken relationships, failed dreams, unattained goals and unconfessed sins. Time may heal the wounds of the past but at some point it doesn’t work at its best because of the condition of the hearts. It only serves as a concealer for the scars of the past. However, God is just so good to inspire us with His promise that regardless of how bad we may have been, we can all come to Him and experience a reset of our lives.
Second, “Keep order in all aspects of your life”Who would ever want to sleep in a room where shoes, bags and used clothes are all over? Who would ever want to look at a laundry basket overflowing with used clothing which are not even properly folded and ruffled? Not my OC-self either. I think what we need is to evaluate ourselves – on how we spent our time, on how we arrange things, on how we decide on varying matters and on the “WHYs” of everything.
Third, and last, “Carry around a grateful heart”Being thankful isn’t just for the good times but also for the towering burdens and the deepest pools of vexations of life. Be thankful in everything, in all circumstances. Thank God for the people around you, for the food on your plate and for the year-old clothes in your closet.
I thank the Lord for this year, for my life and for your lives.
I wish you had the same great kick off. And, I only hope for a good finish, too!
signature15934678_1432660646747192_1860231712_n

Coffee Diaries: A Servant’s Psalm

I will sing of Your mercies,

My Lord and My God.

I will sing of Your grace

each day and each night.

I will sing of Your faithfulness

forever and ever.

Heavens will praise Your wonders;

Earth will bow down on Your feet.

For Yours are heavens and the earth

and all its fullness.

To You, my shield belongs.

My armour, You marked

with greatness and power.

In victory, You set my feet.

I will sing “You are Mighty!”

O, Lord, I will

continually sing and always will

for You are Mighty.

signature

Coffee Diaries: Human Mind

cymera_20161208_072745

Whenever I travel, I would always find myself fascinated by works of men – the towering buildings, the exquisitely architectured houses, the statues meeting the zenith line, marbled streetpaths, the dramatic styles of lightposts, the glassware displays on the coffee tables and many others. I’m amazed how these things were just a mere spark of idea turned into tangible proofs of existence! That’s how amazing the human mind can be!

I thank the Creator who caused the human minds to function at its present capability. Indeed, He’s the Author of everything!

signature

Ephesians 3: My heart’s Cry

Ephesians 3: My heart’s Cry
-iamJirah
5/5/13

Strengthened me with might, O, Lord,
Dwell in my heart through faith
That I may be rooted and grounded in Your love.
Filled me with Your fullness, O, Lord.
Grant everything according to Your will and glory;
Do not lose heart at me.
Draw me closer to You
And cover me by Your precious blood.

On Sailor’s Boat

 

 

One day a sailor asked me

     to join his ride – a fearless escape from reality.

I got into his boat with glees –

with reservations though.

Away from the shore,

     we’re filled with contentment and delights.

Waves and wind danced with us;

     caressed our oars and craft.

 

Then storm came,

hard wind blew.

Wrecking our boat and driving us back –

to the shore.

For a moment I thought, why does reality drag me back

whenever I choose to courageously depart?

 

The storm set on,

wind blew harder.

Wrecking our boat and driving us back –

to the shore.

Still the sailor assured me of a safe voyage.